Contributor Burt Prelutsky Scriptwriter Burt Prelutsky has writing credits from some of television’s best known series as well as having been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. [go to Prelutsky index]

Conservatives are from Mars (Liberals are from San Francisco) by Burt Prelutsky

Having said all that, I wish to announce that I despise the ACLU for its relentless attacks on Christianity and Judaism. It's bad enough that they will wage battle on behalf of any busybody looking to banish Christmas and Hanukah symbols from public places, including one's own front yard. However, these very same lawyers will eagerly go to the mat to safeguard a Muslim's right to wear a disguise on her driver's license, a Navajo's right to smoke peyote, and a cultist's right to ritualistically slaughter small animals.

The ACLU proclaims that they're merely abiding by the Constitution's insistence on the separation of church and state. The only problem with that position is that the Constitution says no such thing. Although the secular Left has glommed on to that catch phrase like a pitbull gnawing on a shinbone, the First Amendment simply states: "Congress shall make no law respecting establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."

That is a far cry from forcing apartment dwellers to remove holiday wreaths from their door, or insisting that communities remove Nativity scenes from parks, or compelling small towns to change "Christmas Holiday" in their high school calendars to "Winter Break."

The problem with the ACLU is that it is composed in equal measure of self-righteous fools and fascistic bullies. Because so many of their members are rich and privileged, they will, on the one hand, blather on about their love of democracy, while, at the same time, assume they alone know what's best for everyone else.

Because they are so out of step with the majority, they can rarely have their way via a democratic ballot. There are, in fact, only two means by which they ever have their way. The first is by getting liberal judges to set aside election results, as they have done over such issues as capital punishment, illegal immigration, and affirmative action. The second way is by intimidating those -- be they individuals, cities or organizations -- that lack the backbone or the financial wherewithal to defend themselves against the ACLU's mob of shysters.

If the authors of the Constitution had ever, in their worst nightmares, envisioned a group as vile as the ACLU, I feel certain that they would have rephrased the First Amendment to read: "Congress shall make no law respecting establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. Period! And we're not kidding, so help us God!" CRO

Copyright 2006 Burt Prelutsky