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JOHNSON |
Instant
Mexicans!
by Mac Johnson [writer,
physician] 7/2706 |
Every year, millions of American children waste their potential
on education. Lord knows I wasted mine that way. Americans
once believed that education was
the path to personal success and national economic advancement. But as any supporter
of illegal immigration will tell you, the real bedrock of the American economy
is actually the uneducated, unskilled “migrant worker.”
Without a
steady supply of millions of foreign high school dropouts,
New York City would collapse and America as a whole would wither
and die -- as we have learned repeatedly in the illegal immigration
debate, most recently from New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg.
Yet despite the critical national need for illiterate labor,
America still remains addicted to foreign toil. It is therefore
critical that America seek domestic toil alternatives immediately.
We must become peon-energy independent in the 21st Century!
Contributor
Mac
Johnson
Mac
Johnson is a freelance writer and biologist in Cambridge,
Mass. Mr. Johnson holds a Doctorate in Molecular and
Cellular Biology from Baylor College of Medicine. He
is a frequent opinion contributor to Human
Events Online. His website can be found at macjohnson.com [go
to Johnson index]
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The good
news is that America is already half-way to “peonergy” independence:
our public school system produces millions of illiterates every
year! Why then do we remain so addicted to foreign illiterates,
the backbone of a healthy modern economy? The short answer is “motivation.” It
is not enough to merely produce throngs of unintelligible ignoramuses;
they must also be well motivated by desperation and hardship
-- and this is where America has taken a wrong turn on the path
toward increased domestic toil supplies. We foolishly feed our
underclass for free!
While Mexico and its neighbors wisely leave their poor to discover
the joys of independent employment in the exciting field of working
in fields, America has taken its most valuable economic resource,
the illiterate laborer, and turned them all into shiftless and
expensive layabouts suckling noisily at the teat of the morbidly
obese welfare state. Please excuse the visual that must have
created in your mind.
The key to economic
advancement in this century is not “education” or “technology” or
even the much over-hyped pretender “innovation”;
it is getting our illiterates into the workforce muy pronto,
before we are eclipsed in the economic arms race by emerging
manual labor superpowers such as Mexico and Crapistan .
Therefore, I modestly
propose the following one-step plan to finally unlock the potential
of America’s uneducated future.
Next month, instead of a welfare check, food stamps, housing
voucher, or other public assistance, every welfare recipient
in America will receive a green card in the mail. Accompanying
the green card will be a map of America, with all day labor centers
marked by large dollar symbols. The connection between work and
wages will all be explained in the enclosed note:
Congratulations! You
are already in America and entitled to work! (This saves you
all the trouble of sneaking in and demanding
amnesty from the Republicrat Congress.) You will still receive
a monthly check capable of supporting you at the level to which
you have become accustomed. However, it will now come from “Gabrielli
Brothers Landscaping” (or some other business in need of
your valuable unskills) and they may expect you to cut a little
grass first (or perform some other such unskilled labor). Welcome
to America! Now get to work!
Not only would this
simple plan free us from the constant worry associated with
our dependence on foreign toil, it would also
begin to address the obesity epidemic that has swept our country
-- an epidemic that has hit the poor hardest, after all. America’s
many housing projects would quickly become priceless “casa
projects” producing the millions of peppy ditch diggers
upon which America’s greatness depends. In fact, our supply
of labor could become so abundant that many well-motivated Americans
might start sneaking into Mexico looking for work, necessitating
that Mexico build a wall along its border with the U.S. to protect
its sovereignty.
There’s just one problem that I can see with my plan to
create a strategic labor reserve right here in America: no buzzwords.
How can any modern economic plan get by without using one of
the following power-packed nuggets: “synergy,” “outsourcing,” “real-time,” or “globalization?” So
here is an alternative plan that uses these very meaningful words.
America’s unskilled labor needs in this age of globalization
would be met in real-time via outsourcing, thus releasing synergy
.
Here’s how the plan would work. For every illegal alien
that crosses our border with Mexico, we would export one welfare
recipient the other way. After a generation or so in Mexico,
these former unemployables should be ambitious enough to smuggle
themselves back into America and take the jobs that are beneath
our poor. This perpetual exchange would be especially important,
since it could be expected that the children of today’s
illegal immigrants will become addicted to America’s welfare
system and ruined for all practical economic purposes. Worse
yet, some of these children may attend college or even (God forbid),
graduate school, thus removing them from the most vital portion
of the economy -- table bussing.
Either way, these
plans could provide America with the steady and abundant supply
of unskilled, illiterate labor which undergirds
her status as the world’s sole remaining superpower. CRO
First appeared at Human Events Online
copyright
2006 Mac Johnson
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