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Contributors
Mac
Johnson -
Contributor
Mac Johnson
is a freelance writer and biologist in Cambridge, Mass. Mr.
Johnson holds a Doctorate in Molecular and Cellular Biology
from Baylor College of Medicine. He is a frequent opinion contributor
to Human
Events Online. His website can be found at macjohnson.com [go
to Johnson index]
 Knife
Control
Thank goodness for the nanny state...
[Mac Johnson] 6/2/05
Consider
the following domestic scene and see if you can spot what might
be wrong with it:
Husband: “I think I’ll add a little more oregano
to the sauce.”
Wife: “No,
I think it has enough already.”
Husband: “DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!” [while
stabbing wife to death]
Did you catch
how wrong that was? There was a knife in that kitchen. That
is
pretty much the conclusion of a British physicians’ group
regarding “knife crime” in Britain, as reported
by the BBC last week.
According
to the report, many stabbings appear to involve pointy objects,
at least some
of which may be knives. Disturbingly,
many of these knives can be found in unsuspecting kitchens throughout
Britain, having slipped past existing weapons laws under the
beguiling title of “kitchen knives.”
The madness
of kitchen knives, the enemy within, does not stop there, however.
The report also noted researchers’ belief
that: “many assaults are committed impulsively, prompted
by alcohol and drugs, and a kitchen knife often makes an all
too available weapon.”
Now, when
an impulsive person can’t even get whacked out
of his mind on drugs and alcohol without getting into trouble
in the kitchen, clearly something needs to be done. But what?
Is there some sensible and practical measure we could take that
might remove this threat from society? Why, yes, there is. The
physicians group stated, and I quote:
“We
suggest that banning the sale of long pointed knives is a sensible
and practical measure.”
Of course! Long, pointed knives are exactly the kind that might
get stabbed into people. No wonder those Doctors got into medical
school.
With this
single report, the modern safety police have done more to parody
themselves
than opponents could do in a lifetime.
Gun ownership in the United Kingdom having been practically banned, “Knife
Control” has now come of age. The idea of knife control
was once a joke proffered by opponents of gun control in an attempt
to show where the anti-gun mentality could lead, if taken to
its illogical conclusion. It has now been taken to its illogical
conclusion.
In the world
of the left, the fact that some men and women are violent,
irresponsible,
impulsive, drug-addicted, or evil is
not a problem. The problem is simply that any of us have the
power to act. It is OK to want to kill. It is OK to be a drug
addict. It is OK to have little control over your emotions. It
is OK to be an evil 200 lb. child, essentially. It’s just
wrong that somebody gave you access to solid food and sharp objects.
So, rather than enforce laws that remove from society those
people that have a demonstrated inability to behave acceptably,
and lock them away in an environment where they can be treated
as evil or stupid, the better solution is to pass laws treating
every citizen as though he might be evil or stupid.
Modern society
is being turned into one grand minimum-security institution –an
institution where experts can decide what we really need; and
keep us safe from ourselves.
Experts such
as physicians, or the 10 “top chefs” cited
by the physicians in their call to knife control: “None
of the chefs felt such knives were essential, since the point
of a short blade was just as useful when a sharp end was needed.” Only
Chefs should be trusted with Chef’s knives. The rest of
us should have only short little blades when we need a point,
or else have knives with blunt round tips for those times when
a longer blade is needed –rather like those little blunt-tipped
scissors we all had in kindergarten.
Sure, it’s possible to still carve up someone’s
face with the sharp edge on a blunt “safety” knife,
but that’s acceptable --since you’ll probably survive
having your ears lopped off in anger by the impulsive imbecile
your government failed to protect you from. Compare such minor
slashing wounds with those caused by a pointed big-boy knife,
which, it was said “pierces the body like ‘cutting
into a ripe melon’". The report did not suggest how,
after such knives are banned, one might cut into ripe melons.
Perhaps you could ask an expert to do it with his properly licensed
Chef’s knife.
If you have
any doubt as to the elitist nature of such nanny state nonsense,
designed
to protect the little man from his little
brain (or at least the little brain of his paroled neighbor,
whom the elite need not live near) consider one of the examples
the physicians group cited to show what a sensible and practical
idea the proposed ban on long pointed knives is: “French
laws in the 17th century decreed that the tips of table and street
knives be ground smooth.”
The standard for proper government of the masses is again, apparently,
the reign of the autocratic Sun-King of France circa 1650.
It’s good to be the King –he
can have a pointy knife if he wants.
copyright
2005 Mac Johnson
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