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Contributors
Mac
Johnson -
Contributor
Mac Johnson
is a freelance writer and biologist in Cambridge, Mass. Mr.
Johnson holds a Doctorate in Molecular and Cellular Biology
from Baylor College of Medicine. He is a frequent opinion contributor
to Human
Events Online. His website can be found at macjohnson.com [go
to Johnson index]
 Lawlessness:
The Solution to Anarchy!
“Orderly” Immigration…
[Mac Johnson] 5/20/05
According
to the FBI, every 14.6 seconds one burglary is committed in
America.
The primary reason behind this disturbing fact is
that it remains illegal to take other people’s stuff.
Even if you
really, really need other people’s stuff to
enjoy a better life for you and your children, you are not “supposed” to
take it under current rules. But what choice do tens of thousands
of Americans have? Likewise, there are millions of items that –when
new and un-stolen-- have prices that most Americans are simply
not willing to pay. We all benefit from theft, yet it remains
illegal. This antiquated system of “law” results
in thousands of enterprising people being needlessly labeled “thieves” each
year and diverts scarce government resources away from funding
more important priorities such as Public Broadcasting and the “Wild Fish Propagation Center” in Sulphur Springs, West Virginia.
Clearly burglary,
or “undocumented income redistribution,” is
a serious problem. But fortunately there is a solution: just
legalize burglary. The simplicity of this approach is so overwhelming
that I find it hard to believe no one has thought of it before
me. I cannot, however, take full credit for this marvelous idea.
Really, I just stole it from John McCain and Ted Kennedy, who
propose something similar in their new “plan” to
address illegal immigration, the 2005 Secure America and
Orderly Immigration Act. Polls show that Americans are fed up with our
broken borders, so John and Ted and a few friends* have decided
to declare war on illegal immigration –-not the act, but
the concept.
Evidently,
the “problem” with illegal immigration
is that it’s illegal. And the 2005 Secure America and
Orderly Immigration Act puts an end to that! The bill gives the ten million
illegal aliens currently stowed away in the country a free pass
to legality. Well, actually that’s not quite true. The
government couldn’t resist the urge to raise a little revenue
off the poor oppressed migrants that are just seeking a better
life in America. So after paying a substantial fee, then they
get a pass --which must be why the Senators are so adamant that
this is NOT, repeat NOT, an amnesty. After all, you don’t
have to pay for an amnesty --just ask Mark Rich.
After the
illegal aliens already here get made legal (but do NOT get
an amnesty),
those who wish to enter America illegally
will have to settle for being Guest Workers. The wholesome Guest
Worker concept –which has provided Europe with “temporary” second-class
citizens now in their third generation of disgruntled and disenfranchised
residence-- will now come to America in order to “fill
jobs that no American is available or wants to do.” The
Bill does not address how many Americans might want to do these
jobs if they did not have to compete for them with several million
refugees from nations where the per capita Gross National Income
ranges from $1,541 (Guatemala) to $5,920 (Mexico).
Importantly,
just like the amnesties and non-amnesties that have come before
it, the non-amnesty in this bill will allow
us to make a fresh start and finally secure the border –right
after this last non-amnesty is granted. Why the government that
cannot secure the border now will suddenly acquire this ability
right after the non-amnesty is a little murky. Perhaps it will
be easier to do then, since we can expect most of the population
of the rest of the world to have already arrived here by the
time the bill is signed. If you want to get your non-amnesty,
you better sneak into America now! It could be ten years before
Congress gets the guts up to pull this again.
But this
bill isn’t just about legalizing illegal immigration.
As with airline bills, agriculture bills, art bills, education
bills, defense bills, highway bills, worker safety bills, energy
bills, welfare bills, environment bills, space travel bills,
and bills naming June as “Pork Sausage Month,” this
bill can be expected to increase Homeland Security. "Homeland
security is our nation's number one priority,” commented
Maverick Senator John McCain, “this legislation includes
a number of provisions that together will make our nation more
secure.” That’s probably why the bill is so heartily
supported by the security-minded National Restaurant Association. The
National Association of Those Too Cheap to Pay an American
to Cut
Their Grass has not yet commented, but no doubt they see
the Homeland Security implications as well.
Anyway, after
illegal immigration is made legal, this same foolproof strategy
can
then be applied to solving other chronic crime issues.
For example, “Tax Cheats,” or “undocumented
deduction finders”, cost the government around $300 billion
dollars per year in lost revenue –revenue that the undocumented
deductors simply need to provide a better life for themselves
and their families while contributing to the American economy.
Were the maverick and the mammoth Senators McCain and Kennedy
to whip up the 2005 Secure Revenue and Orderly Taxation Act, legalizing creative accounting and NOT-amnestying past offenders,
this problem could be totally eliminated. If the government isn’t
legally owed the money anymore, it can’t be lost revenue!
Problem solved. But for some reason, the government insists on
addressing this problem with an unrealistic program of persistent
dedicated enforcement.
So maybe
it’s not a perfect solution for all criminal
headaches. But certainly it could work for those crimes that
don’t directly reduce the power of Government –burglary,
fraud, assault, murder of a non-office holder, etc. The legalization
solution holds great promise, because a nation without laws to
enforce is a nation without crime.
Of course, the most logical extension of that line of thinking
is that since Congress passes laws, then Congress causes crime.
Maybe McCain and Kennedy are actually on to something. tOR
This piece first appeared at Human
Events Online
*The complete list of sponsors of this bill are:
Senator John
McCain
http://mccain.senate.gov/index.cfm?fuseaction=Contact.Home
Senator Edward Kennedy
http://kennedy.senate.gov/index_low.html
Senator Joseph Lieberman
http://lieberman.senate.gov/contact/index.cfm?regarding=issue
Senator Sam Brownback
http://brownback.senate.gov/CMEmailMe.htm
Representative Jeff Flake
jeff.flake@mail.house.gov
Representative Jim Kolbe
http://www.house.gov/kolbe/IMA/issue.htm
Representative Luis Gutierrez
http://luisgutierrez.house.gov/feedback.cfm?campaign=luisgutierrez&type=Let%27s%20Talk
copyright
2005 Mac Johnson
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