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Me Count The NAMES!
[by Patrick Hurley] 12/11/05
I am sure
you have noticed that the more famous (or infamous!) a person,
the more names the media attaches to them. For example, it
was never, “John
Booth,” or, “Lee Oswald.” No, they were Presidential
assassins and as a result, they had to have three names!
It was like that with our heroes, too. Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Martin Luther King. Since Robert Kennedy’s
middle name was Francis, and he was the Attorney General
of the United States of America, no one dared to add his middle
moniker to his legacy. Noooooo.
So, if you
want to know who the media favors when you read a news event,
just count the names and you will see their darlings. The two
name, “losers,” included, George Bush I and II,
Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon. I don’t think they were
real fond of Jimmy Carter, either. Other than Rosalyn, I can’t
think of anyone else who supported him after his inauguration.
Patrick Hurley is an independent conservative thinker living
in Orange County, California. He has addressed over six million
people in 47 states nationwide and won three Emmy awards for
to Hurley index]
me to the new media superstar. Stanley Tookie Williams. Three names.
This must be a great man. The media is telling us
so. You do notice that his murder victims only had two names
when they were mentioned in the press. Oh, excuse me, he never
murdered anyone, I forgot. Stanley Tookie Williams is innocent.
Now, I remember. He helps at-risk kids. He writes children’s
books. He has renounced his past gang activity. It is funny what
an impending moment of death will do to a soul. As I write this,
it is December 11, 2005. Stanley Tookie Williams is scheduled
to involuntarily leave this earth in four days unless our esteemed
Governor, (who only has two names) pardons him before then.
I have nothing personally
against Stanley Tookie Williams. I am happy that he has repented
from his, uh, non-murderous ways.
I guess the argument for his clemency is one of those tightrope
statements, “Okay, Tookie is innocent of killing anyone
but if he DID murder those four people he has repented and lived
an exemplary life since helping thousands of kids realize their
potential. Therefore, he should be pardoned for the turnaround
in his life which occurred after he really didn’t take
the lives of four people. Kapeesh?”
Oh, yeah, I understand now.
who would have fought to the death to stop the execution of
Bundy sending him instead to daily sensitivity
sessions, is at the forefront of this crusade to save his new
friend, Stanley… Tookie… Williams. He has strong
feelings about the death penalty and I quote him, “I have
been arguing for years that this is a barbaric practice that
demeans us as a just society and erodes our moral core.” You
have a great argument here, Michael; the problem is the object
of your advocacy. It is not the death penalty that is barbaric
and demeans our society, it is the crime of MURDER that does
that. If you want to be passionate about truth, start with the
victim, not the victimizer. The misguided Samaritan who formerly
made M.A.S.H. a big hit is joined in this mission by some pretty
heavy hitters out there. Snoop Dogg, Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Jamie Foxx, Bianca Jagger, (okay, I am stretching her
fame a bit!) Russell Crowe, Harry Belafonte and, here’s
a stunner, Barbra Streisand!
I wonder if the Funny
Girl would be lighting candles for Ann Coulter if she had murdered
But, I digress. Let us get to the core issue.
What is important
here is that Stanley Tookie Williams, a convicted murderer
of four people is getting the, “three name” treatment.
He never got that when he helped bring the Crips to national
prominence. He lacked star quality until he started killing people.
I am sitting here typing at my desk and wondering what it is
going to take to make everyone appreciate me as Patrick James
Hurley. If I don’t become a famous statesman or win the
Academy Award, is my only hope to go out and buy a gun?
I envy John
Warnock Hinckley or Lynette Squeaky Fromme. They didn’t
even have to assassinate anyone to get three names. So, if
a wound on a famous person or even have my weapon
jam in attempting it, do I (excuse the pun!) have a shot here?
I can see the USA Today headline now…
Hurley, while attempting to bring down Jesse Jackson with his
polo mallet was wrestled to the ground by several
members of the NAACP before he could actually harm the Reverend.
Patrick James Hurley, who was heard screaming as he was led
is Jesse Jackson going to get a real JOB?” faces a conviction
of up to ten years in prison. Friends and neighbors who knew
Patrick James Hurley were shocked at his arrest claiming Patrick
James Hurley never showed any animosity towards them and believed
his problems began when he was fired from his place of work at
a local polo supply company. Patrick James Hurley will be arraigned
tomorrow in Superior Court. His middle name will be included
in all subsequent news articles because he tried to assault someone
whom the media deems significant.
from now, Stanley Tookie Williams will be alive or dead. But,
we know for sure…his victims are
already dead and because he has some famous people backing
him up, he will probably have three names on his gravestone
Only in America.
The writer with two names.
2005 Patrick Hurley