Fourth Annual Nosey Awards
The stupid exercise of power in the California Legislature…
Ray Haynes] 11/15/05
individual liberty is the most important thing a legislator
can do. Exercising power is easy; restraining the exercise
of power is hard.
Legislators therefore have a tendency to exercise power in strange and
intrusive ways. The “Noseys” were designed to call attention
to the stupid exercise of power in the California Legislature.
Nosey Award Winner is:
AB 1677(Koretz) Correctional Condoms Act: This bill provides for the legalization
of, and distribution of contraband in our states correctional
facilities, by allowing any non-profit or health agency to
freely distribute condoms and dental dams to inmates (Just
what is a dental dam?). With the understanding that sex between
inmates is a crime, this bill’s stated purpose is to
prevent disease. What this strange bill DOES NOT DO, is provide
for the disposal of the potentially hundreds of thousands of
used condoms. Who gets stuck with that job? Would our Correctional
Peace Officers be relegated to the duties of a peep show custodian?
Haynes is an Assembly member representing Riverside
and Temecula. He serves on the Appropriations and
Budget Committees. [go to Assembly Member Haynes website
at California Assembly][go to Haynes index]
fair, the bill does state that it isn’t intended
to encourage illegal sex acts between inmates. This begs the
question; for what purpose are these prison prophylactics to
be used? Inmates often indulge in a practice known as “gassing”,
which is the act of using their own bodily fluids as a weapon.
An Officer may be exposed to inmates’ blood, urine, feces
and semen as an inherent job hazard. Now, with a condom, the
inmates have a “water balloon” delivery system.
This bill is the hands down winner for the bill that tries to
do the work of the lesser good, while simultaneously avoiding
the root cause of the problem.
SB 607 (Bowen): Taxing Yard Sales. When the Socialists in Sacramento aren’t doing dangerous things like coddling
pedophiles or trying to give drivers licenses to illegal aliens,
they try to do really dumb things like taxing yard sales. Would
you expect anything less from your legislators who have tried
to pass a “Soda Tax” and force our building codes
to include the principles of “Feng Shui?”
AB 17 (Koretz): Tobacco: the low hanging fruit of the politician; This bill
seeks to create a crime for smoking in what is arguably
the most outdoors one can get; the beach. Now we have no smoking
indoors and no smoking outdoors. When smoking is outlawed, only
outlaws will smoke. Now, if we could only outlaw all of those
AB 163 (Bermudez) Splitting Hairs: This bill sought to clarify
issues regarding the practice of hair threading; one form of
trimming eye brows. The Legislature, after an abnormally long
committee debate, tried to tell people just exactly what constitutes
incidental eye brow hair cutting. Not willing to let well enough
alone, the bill also sought to add another redundant step in
the cosmetology licensing process. Strike another blow for the
hair police. Vetoed by the Governor.
AB 418 (Koretz) “A little hair of the dog”: They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Why not let dogs
engage in cosmetic surgery? Why pass AB 418, which would have
outlawed dog ear cropping? Not only a job killer, “nosing” into
the long established practices of the American Kennel Club, this
bill reminds us that while politicians aren’t willing to
tackle the real problems that affect the working people of California,
they are perfectly willing to invent them.
AB 178 (Koretz) Up in Smoke, “fire safe cigarettes”: By adding more harmful chemicals to the ingredients in cigarettes,
which are already rumored to be unhealthy, Mr. Koretz hopes to
prevent smokers from setting themselves on fire. This bill will
create yet another price hike and additional regulations impacting
both the manufacturer and consumer. This bill will now be law.
No word on how it affects “fire-safe medicinal marijuana”.
AB 616 (Vargas) “Cigar Envy”: This bill sought
to prohibit smoking in an outdoor area that is enclosed on four
sides by a public building. Mr. Vargas’s willingness to
have the taxpayers print a bill whose only function is to interrupt
the relaxed atmosphere in the Governor’s signature cigar
smoking tent, is a perfect model of the playground antics of
an insulated Capitol establishment.
8. AB 756 (Goldberg) Lilliputian Learning: Miniaturization
is cool. Laptops are cooler than desktops. Tiny flip phones
are cooler than the older, larger
cell phones. Even personal miniaturization in the form of anorexia appears
to be cool---at least if the covers of People and US magazine are a good barometer.
But much like anorexia, the quest for miniaturization can sometimes be harmful
and shortsighted. This bill would prohibit textbooks longer than 200 pages.
But then again, maybe they are on to something – I might support an amendment
to limit all legislation to 2 pages!
AB 1103 (Karnette) TOUR DE TAX: The legislature
has long tried to figure out how to tax kids—and this
year they did it. Tax cars, now tax bikes. Kids—welcome
to a free society.
AB 651 (Berg, Levine) State Sponsored Suicide: This bill sought to provide
a state sanctioned means of ending a life with
the help of a health care provider. Rather than using the will
of government to find solutions to things such as healthcare,
eldercare and such, we have now fully surrendered to our legislative
demons and have agreed to just give up. As a well known actor
once proclaimed, “Soylent Green is people!” And you
thought eugenics was passé!
The Legislature is
no longer in session, so you are safe again for now. But I’m sure you can’t
wait until next year to see just how nosey the Legislature
can get. CRO
Haynes is a California Assembleyman representing Riverside
and Temecula and frequent contributor to CaliforniaRepublic.org.