|
Contributors
Doug Gamble- Contributor
Doug
Gamble is a former writer for President Ronald Reagan and
resides
in Carmel. [go to Gamble index]
 Season's
Greetings, From Bad To Verse
Holiday
odes to Gray and Arnold, Tom and Arianna, Peter C. and
Mark G.
[Doug Gamble] 12/24/03
Christmas
is almost upon us and I still haven't mailed my cards. It's
a little late now, so with apologies to the readers I'd
like to use this forum to send seasonal greetings to some of
the people on my list.
Gray Davis:
The Grinch came early for you this year, the first week in October.
The voters decided they'd had enough and really worked you over.
With blackouts, deficits and general malaise you weren't a popular
guy.
Hope you hung mistletoe above your desk to kiss your job goodbye.
Arnold Schwarzenegger:
Merry Christmas to the governor, and all those kinds of things.
Thanks to you the state GOP has gone from bums to kings.
Even Santa Claus is happy and will reward you Christmas day,
For removing the tripled car tax on his reindeer and his sleigh.
But I'm afraid you won't meet Mrs. Claus the way that you had
hoped.
Santa just can't take a chance that his missus might be groped.
And Gray Davis is sending you a gift that may not ring your
chimes.
It's a lifetime subscription to, you guessed it, the L.A. Times.
Your Christmas stocking should be richly stuffed the way I see
and judge it.
Much better than when the Democrats tell you where to stuff
your next budget.
Tom McClintock:
Have a great conservative Yuletide
Starting Christmas Day at dawn.
Sitting 'round the tree you spied
And chopped down on the Sierra Club's lawn.
Less taxes, regulation and government waste
To your supporters they're just the thing.
Please partake of our bird; it's got a great taste,
And we'll save you the whole right wing.
Arianna Huffington:
Your Christmas might not be so good this year,
You might even call it a bummer.
I just saw the way Santa's getting here,
He's riding in a Hummer.
Peter Camejo:
You dreamed of a Green Christmas, but the voters wouldn't let
you do it.
When it comes to giving handouts for free, Santa Claus beat
you to it.
Cruz Bustamante:
Greetings to the lieutenant guv, the quintessential leftist.
The way you ran for higher office was certainly not the deftest.
Driver's licenses for illegals bombed along with taxes going
higher.
And the Indian gaming money you took just put your feet to the
fire.
St. Nick would like to give you a gift that might keep the voters
from mocking,
But he still hasn't figured out a way to get charisma into a
stocking.
Bill Lockyer:
Christmas nuts are big this time of year
In all their salty best.
But you've behaved like one, I fear
In a real eccentric fest.
You told Gray Davis his politics
Are the kind that make you puke.
Then you voted for Arnold, among your strange tricks
What a Bustamante rebuke.
The only Christmas snow in Sacramento town
Is the kind that's just a fake.
But Republicans hope you'll stay around
And keep acting like a flake.
Mark Geragos:
If Santa ever needs a lawyer your place in history is cemented.
He's the last remaining celebrity that you haven't represented.
Merry Christmas to readers who either celebrate it or aren't
offended by the sentiment, and a Happy New Year to all.
Doug Gamble
has written for Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush
and other prominent Republicans.
Copyright 2003 Doug Gamble
§
|
