, 2007
| Over 2 Million Served |




Home | Notes
Archives | Search
Links | About

Julia Gorin
The America Show
Episode 4
Jesus and Mordy
Watch Video Now


Conservatives Are From Mars, Liberals Are From San Francisco
by Burt Prelutsky

America Alone
by Mark Steyn


The CRO Store




FINEFROCK Whatever NOLA Wants, NOLA Gets
by Steve Finefrock - Hollywood Forum [scriptwriter] 8/28/06

B.O.H.I.C.A., S.N.A.F.U. and You

FROM THE PHONE BOOTH: The Smallest Space in Hollywood

"Damned Yankees" heralded Gwen Verden singing "What Lola Wants, Lola Gets" to mesmerize her ballplayer lover-to-be, as he resisted her Devil-enhanced charms in a Broadway boffo tale of resentment, jealously and the ever-present desire to live forever. Elsewhere belted out with guts and gusto by Sarah Vaughn and Dinah Shore [there's a trifecta of distaff diversity], the song tells of an old man given a Devil's Bargain to be a young major-league ballplayer, so as to defeat the hated, damned Yankees. Lola plans to get her man, and best the Devil's own plans for the young contracted soul.


Founder of Hollywood Forum, a speaker-bureau and panel-discussion vehicle to "Bring the Potomac to the Palisades" on issues that overlap politics and culture with the Hollywood film-TV influence on such national concerns. His scripts have addressed politics [including a TV series pilot/bible package about state political combat, called "A State of the Union"], hazardous materials [from twelve years in emergency management, including six years managing FEMA's Superfund curriculum for hazmat], terrorism, equestrian reincarnation, serial murderer killing journalists in the nation's capitol, and fantasy about time-wasters.[go to Finefrock index]

Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets / And little man, little Lola wants you/ Make up your mind to have, no regrets / Recline yourself, resign yourself - you're through.

Lola slinks and slithers in the team room, as a wide-eyed old/young man feels a magnetic pull toward Lola's confident mantra and charm:

I always get what I aim for/ And your heart and soul, is what I came for. / Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets / Take off your coat, Don't you know you can't win / You're no exception to the rule, / I'm irrezeestable you fool-Give in. /(whispering: give in, you'll never win)

NOLA as Lola

New Orleans [NO] in Louisiana [LA] is mesmerizing the liberal left media [there's a trifecta of redundancy] and Congress into giving beaucoup bucks as the anniversary passes of Katrina's passing thru Nawlins, that ill-prepared city of misbegotten souls who are proud, truly PROUD, to label themselves the Big Easy. Well-practiced in the art of sucking the teat of federal largesse's udder of endless tax revenue, the people of NOLA have charmed the politicos and press and pontificators into signing over their soul. Those lyrics restated, maybe sung by a snazzed up Donna Brazile [or Begala in fishnet stockings]:

Whatever NOLA wants, NOLA gets/ And little man [Uncle Sam], little NOLA wants you [and your money]/ Make up your mind to have, no regrets [certainly not the media, or Mayor Nagin]/ Recline yourself, resign yourself - you're through. Certainly through with any sense of self-restraint, or common sense, or rational assessment of NOLA's zippo preparedness, panicky response-phase "leadership" and blame-game screeching. The image of Carville and Begala in tutu and heels resonates:

I always get what I am for [Or I cry and appear on-screen with Oprah]/ And your heart and soul, is what I came for. [And your bank account, unlimited debit cards]/ Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets/ Take off your coat, Don't you know you can't win [Taxpayer be damned; give us the bread - dollars - and circuses - Congressional stage-show hearings] / You're no exception to the rule,/ I'm irrezeestable you fool-Give in./(whispering: give in, you'll never win)

Irrezeestable Indeed

Maybe the skit would be best with Nagin and Blanco, he in white-face, she in black-face, both dressed in fishnets with dollar signs in the pattern, dancing on a stage floor comprised of submissive Congressmen and applauded by seats filled with pundits, press and pontificators. And appearing as the encore act, a rendering of "Hey, Big Spender" performed by Howard Dean paired with Hilary [or: BILLARY]:

The minute you walked in the joint,/ I could see you were a man of distinction,/ A real big spender,/ Good looking, so refined./ Say, wouldn't you like to know / What's going on in my mind?/ So, let me get right to the point,/ I don't pop my cork for ev'ry guy I see./ Hey, big spender, spend.../ A little time with...me...me...me!/ Do you wanna have fun?/ How's about (chorus: fun) a few laughs?/ I can show you a...good time.../ Do you wanna have fun...fun...fun?/ How's about (fun) a few (fun) laughs (fun)/ Laughs (fun) laughs / (I can show you a...)/ (fun) laughs (fun) laughs/ (good time)/ Fun, laughs (good time)/ Fun, laughs (good time)/ Fun, laughs (good time)...shhh.../ What did you say you are?/ How's about a ...(laugh)/ I could give you some.../ Are you ready for...(fun)/ How would you like a.../ Let me show you a ...(good time)/ Hey, big spender.../ Hey, big spender...

Of course, this little pair of chanteuses are lying: they do pop their cork for every guy they meet, if it's Uncle Sam; every such legislative guy is a Man of Distinction, a Real Big Spender of tax revenues. What's going on in Nagin's mind? He gets right to the point, as he pops his cork, and spouts off his entitlement-minded big mouth: SEND MONEY. And what is the quid pro quo? Well, now Nagin and Blanco are playing the Tease: a better NOLA? Less corruption? More transparency? Just send the quid, we ain't got no stinkin' quo.

Chocolate City: Willy Wonkish

The policy wonks are shredding trees and broadcasting electrons, as Nagin's pronouncement of NOLA becoming a Chocolate City got nary a condemnation, though Saturday Night Live did give him a bit of parody last spring. But to see the MSM's wet-kiss-with-tongue adoration of NOLA's Nagin would lead a newcomer to think he was a hero, someone who had blazing brilliance and exhibited response-phase peerless leadership, who was prepared and competent. Find a professional emergency manager who agrees with that MSM judgment and you get the big prize. While media mavens and weenie wonks give hugs and tongues to NOLA, letting him have what he wants, those who've been in the disaster business know it's deja vu all over again. Many before Nagin have practiced his six-word mantra: Don't Worry, Be Happy [before the disaster], BLAME FEMA [after it hits you in the solar plexus].

Or BLAME BUSH. Now is the anniversary of Katrina, and now also it is time to Bend Over, Here It Comes Again. BOHICA could be FEMA's Anglican motto, along with SNAFU [Situation Normal, All Fouled Up], for in every disaster the same "surprises" repeat themselves. All professionals knew long before Katrina -- though Nagin and NOLA did not, nor did they care to alter their ignorance -- that in a disaster, Murphy's Law reigns supreme, multiplying SNAFU with FUBAR [Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition]. Communications are compromised, control issues are blurred, command authority is tested [and often a cause of burrocratic battles], and intelligence/information is slender and compromised. This C3-I concept is old military doctrine, along with Clausewitz's battlefield dictum: The first casualty upon engaging the enemy is your plan.

World War IV and IV-b

And Mother Nature is really a Muthah when it hits the fan. In the new World War, designated numero cuatro [after the Cold War as numero tres], there are two parts: the fight against terror masters from midget societies, and the ever-growing technological and ever-frequent natural hazards which are everyday threats. Part A is the midgets, Part B is the presistently present threats which never went away. All plans will become casualties once Muthah rears her ugly face, in hurricanes, or hazardous materials events, or tornadoes. The plan dies when the battle commences, and thence begins LEADERSHIP.

Of which Nagin and NOLA were particularly lacking. A reform mayor of minimal political savvy, Nagin's appointments were buddies, the police chief one from his childhood. Whereas Mike Brown got whacked for insufficiency of pre-FEMA skills -- he directed the Arabian Horse Association -- Nagin was a Cox cable guy. And this cable guy was way over his head, sort of Ensign Pulver finding himself promoted to admiral, a brevet in charge of the Battle of Midway. Ditto for Kathleen "blank faced" Blanco. Both were overdriving their headlights, and instead of the media focusing on that bright fact, it was -- of course -- BLAME BUSH. NOLA got what NOLA wants. She has no regrets -- no one has made NOLA suffer for the tragic suffering begat of stupidity, ignorance and insouciance.

All borne of generations of NOLA addiction to the federal teat, pulling bucks from the udder of the taxpayer's dutiful payments, leading NOLA citizens to demand ever more, MORE, MORE. With habits drawn from endless litany of leftwing rants that America owes so much to so many. With so many taxpayers given the guilt-trip ticket, that ticket punched by the Spike Lee Legions, endorsed by Wall Stret Journal jeremiads who reinforce cinematic rants on HBO with seemingly respectable book projects [that book, "Disaster" has been bought by HBO; wonder who will direct that one? Michael Moore?].

Stand in line: BOHICA and SNAFU and FUBAR and NOLA are putting it to you, the taxpayer and the generous citizens who helped NOLA citizens, and now are lambasted as invoking a new kind of slavery, causing a Black Diaspora! Just can't do enough. NOLA wants endless welfare, and now is getting more. And more. And more. Along with the Moores and Sean Penns and Oprahs. All determined to let NOLA get whatever NOLA wants.

And you are the Big Spender. Bend over, let's see your wallet. Recline yourself, resign yourself -- you're thru.

copyright 2006 Steve Finefrock





Apple iTunes
Apple iTunes
Apple iTunes
Apple iTunes
Apple iTunes
Applicable copyrights indicated. All other material copyright 2002-2007 CaliforniaRepublic.org